emily had some nice warm socks on. she walked to the kitchen to get some hot pockets out of the freezer. she hummed a progressive rock song as she pressed the buttons on the microwave. her index finger pointed to the "start" button. when the button was pressed, the lights went out in her small apartment. after approximately 2 seconds, the lights flickered back on, but she was in another place. it looked like xen from half life. excitedly, emily began to jump up and down, to test the gravity of her new world. just as expected, she flew high into the air. a creepy giant tentacle rose up from a nearby pit and began pecking at the ground with its pointy claw. emily jumped right at the creature and secured herself to it with a mighty hug.
"what's your problem, bitch?" inquired the monster with agitation.
"you needn't be so rude!" said emily with glee.
"get off me!"
"no way, hog. we doin' this fo REAL, stacked up platterwurst!"
"you such a damn bitch!"
"yeah, well at least i'm not a froggy dutch boy male oven batter up pop art smallpox mean meat mon!"
"goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo goo."
"whoop! nao, no. nao, no. nao, nao... nao."